All posts tagged: study in masochism

Review*: Evermore by Alyson Noel (*rant)

I don’t think I’ve ever given up on a book so hard. I gave it my absolute best shot, but after reaching the halfway point I couldn’t even form sentences anymore. In the words of the almighty Schmidt, it was like Alyson Noel was ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga. Evermore. Was. Ridiculous. Published in 2009 at the very height of Twlight’s popularity, Evermore is yet another painfully obvious rip-off with a ridiculously named protagonist: Ever. I mean come on. There is no plot to this hunk o’ shit. It may well have reared its undoubtedly sub-par head after the 50% marker (which is where I jumped ship) but to not even hint at a possible plot until then in goddamn inexcusable.  Who do you think you are Alyson Noel? Did you think your oh-so-gripping underdeveloped shit-agonist would keep me entertained and intrigued up until that point? With 150+ pages of meaningless high-school bullshit that – by the way – is riddled with spelling mistakes? I don’t give a shit about your cliché and stereotypical characters …

Review: Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

Holy mother of an unspecified God.  Tahereh Mafi, what have you done to me? Just when I thought I was done with the YA genre, just when I had seriously considered deleting a ton of yet-to-read YA books off my kindle, I stumble upon this beauty. I was not supposed to like this book. I went into this with very low expectations. There are literally thousands of negative reviews on Goodreads alone, and from what people were saying, I was pretty damn sure I’d be writing another one of my famous rant-y reviews by the end of it. Sure enough I started off as I meant to continue, as I was annoyed simply by the author’s short bio: “TAREREH MAFI is a girl […] When unable to find a book, she can be found reading candy wrappers, coupons and old receipts.” I mean…what? Shatter Me was supposed to be a steaming cesspit of manure. [This would be a very appropriate moment for a “never-have-I-been-so-wrong” meme] Shatter Me takes place in a dystopian future about which …

Review: Runes by Ednah Walters

I have a confession: sometimes I get a little trigger-happy on Netgalley. We all do it, don’t we? It’s far too easy to find ourselves overwhelmed with the amount of easily accessible arcs. The minute one looks even remotely up your alley all you have to do is click ‘request’ and you usually don’t even think twice. Then when your request gets approved you feel obliged to read it, even though in your slightly sobered-up mind you know now that there’s no way you’re going to actually enjoy this book; a suspicion that is immediately confirmed when the opening paragraph of said book makes you immediately aware that it’s going to fail the Bechdel test something chronic. “So unfair. My parents decided to limit my computer time again,” Cora griped and rolled her eyes into the webcam. “But as usual, my best friend Raine has my back, so here I am with the next ‘Hottie of the Week’. Before I can give you his stats, I need a break, so I’ll be back in a …

Review: Finale by Becca Fitzpatrick

It. Is. Over. I did it. I read the entire Hush, Hush series. And I came out alive. Just. When I started reading the very first book, I had no idea what I was getting myself in for. I believed I was in for a paranormal-romance treat. I didn’t heed anyone’s warnings. So allow me to attempt to warn you. Please God, let me help. I have read every book in this series and I have reviewed each one. But I can sum up the entire series in one .gif: Buckle up, kids. I am posting my final review of this hunk of rectal sputum book series, and you had better believe there are going to be some serious spoilers. Silence, the third book in the series, left off with Nora Grey killing the Black Hand, Hank Millar. She has sworn a blood-oath to become the new leader of the Nephilim army and lead the race in a war against the fallen angels. It’s not that she wants to lead the army – she wants …